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$28.00 USD
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💖 Cupid Could Never. 💋
Roses are dead, chocolates melt, but your humor? Filthy and forever. The “Coochie, Touch to Wet More” tee is here to remind the world that you don’t need a Valentine – you are the Valentine (and probably the punchline too). Perfect for turning heads, dropping jaws, and making people spit out their drinks from laughing too hard.
Why You’ll Love It (Besides the Obvious):
🎯 Shock Factor 100: Forget flirty – this shirt screams “read at your own risk” and that’s exactly why it works.
🎯 Life of the Party Fit: Girls’ night, date night, brunch, or just making Target runs awkward AF – this tee kills in every setting.
🎯 Louder Than Cupid’s Arrows: Who needs corny pickup lines when your shirt already said it all?
What Makes It Legendary:
🔥 Soft AF Fabric: Comfy enough to pass out in after tequila shots, sexy enough to wear to brunch the next morning.
🔥 Zero F*cks Given Durability: Pre-shrunk, fade-resistant, and ready to survive spin cycles, walk-of-shame laundromats, and spilled martinis.
🔥 The Gag Gift of the Century: Forget teddy bears – THIS is the gift your bestie will actually brag about.
Who’s It For?
💋 The unapologetic queen who is the group chat.
💋 The girl who laughs the loudest at her own dirty jokes.
💋 Anyone who thinks Valentine’s Day should come with a trigger warning.
Style It Like a Savage:
Pair with leggings, jeans, or a tiny skirt if you’re really in the mood to make someone blush. Bonus points if you wear red lipstick just to seal the deal.
💥 Disclaimer: Wearing this shirt may cause jaw drops, double takes, free shots, or awkward side-eyes from old ladies at brunch. Wear it anyway.
👉 Snag yours now – because humor this dirty deserves to be worn out loud.
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.00 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 7.99 | 8.23 | 8.50 | 8.74 | 9.02 | 9.25 | 9.49 | 9.72 | 9.96 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
Shirt Details & Wash Instructions - 100% cotton - Warm Machine wash - Do not bleach - Tumble dry: low heat - Iron, steam or dry: low heat
Size Reference Chart XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL Width, in 16.00 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 30.00 32.00 Length, in 27.00 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 34.00 35.00 Sleeve length, in 7.99 8.23 8.50 8.74 9.02 9.25 9.49 9.72 9.96 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50