Skip to product information
$28.00 USD
Shipping calculated at checkout.
🥃 🍑 Titties + Cognac = The Only Math That Matters. 🍑 🥃
Forget algebra, this is the real equation of life. The “Titties Plus Cognac Equals…” tee is here to let everyone know you’ve cracked the code to legendary nights filled with bad decisions, blurred memories, and way too much laughter.
Why You’ll Want This Sh*t:
🎯 Instant Icebreaker: Why talk about the weather when your shirt already says everything?
🎯 Boldly Profane: Not safe for family dinners, PTA meetings, or your grandma’s Facebook photos. (Perfect for literally everywhere else.)
🎯 Truth Hurts (But It’s Funny): Because let’s be honest – titties + cognac really does equal greatness.
Legendary Features:
🔥 Kickass Comfort: Soft, premium fabric so you can drink, laugh, and pass out in style.
🔥 Built to Last: Just like your liver, this shirt can take a beating. Pre-shrunk, fade-resistant, and inappropriate forever.
🔥 Gift of the Year: The gag gift that will outshine everyone else’s lame socks and candles.
Who’s It For?
🍺 The guy who never shuts up at the bar.
🍺 The dude who thinks “dark humor” is a personality trait.
🍺 Anyone who knows math is only useful when it involves alcohol and boobs.
How to Rock It:
Jeans, sneakers, and a strong pour of cognac in hand. Bonus points if you pair it with bad dance moves and reckless flirting.
💥 Disclaimer: This shirt may result in excessive laughter, inappropriate conversations, and at least one person yelling “WHERE CAN I GET THAT?” Wear responsibly.
👉 Grab yours now and prove you’re the Einstein of fun – titties, booze, and zero regrets.
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.00 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 7.99 | 8.23 | 8.50 | 8.74 | 9.02 | 9.25 | 9.49 | 9.72 | 9.96 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
Shirt Details & Wash Instructions - 100% cotton - Warm Machine wash - Do not bleach - Tumble dry: low heat - Iron, steam or dry: low heat
Size Reference Chart XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL Width, in 16.00 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 30.00 32.00 Length, in 27.00 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 34.00 35.00 Sleeve length, in 7.99 8.23 8.50 8.74 9.02 9.25 9.49 9.72 9.96 Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50